My friend and colleague, Fran Kramer, shares her perspective of Perfect Love. As a life coach, writer, educator and artist, she uses intuition to heal, problem solve and create. She lives in Hawai'i - a real garden of healing.
Her beautiful reflection follows:
Her beautiful reflection follows:
We all want to experience Perfect Love yet do we ever seriously ponder the subject? In answering the question most of us have no trouble coming up with definitions based on our experiences of not receiving it. We all know what it isn’t. To take a positive approach in defining Perfect Love, we could use St. Paul’s classic definition found in his first letter to the Corinthians 13:4-13 which gives a long list of love’s attributes such as “love is patient”, “love never fails,” etc. Then there is the Dalai’s Lama’s pithy and direct bombshell, “Love is the Absence of Judgment.” Or for an extended and complete analogy of love we may look at the life and death of Jesus who, paradoxically, made many judgments on people.
Love: A Universal Truth and a Conventional Truth
I think Perfect Love is one of those spiritual paradoxes which can only be understand and practiced through an open, intuitive heart that doesn’t see reality as “either/or” but as “both/and.” (See my blog “Intuition Helps Us Plumb the Depths of Spiritual Paradox,” May 30, 2014.) There are two levels of reality we are dealing with. On one hand we have “Love is the Absence of Judgment” which conveys a universal truth. It implies that at the root of all reality there is a perfect love that draws all things to itself. This is a universal truth which is true for eternity and in all situations. It underlies the teachings of all major religions. To intuitively realize this truth at an experiential level is a major accomplishment of a human life.
On the other hand, we must live in the everyday world of conventional reality where we are called upon to make judgments all the time such as when we are evaluating our own behavior or that of our kids. There are times when we must make difficult judgments indicative of tough love that often don’t look very loving on the surface such as when to divorce an abusive spouse or send a childish adult packing. How and when do we love in these situations? The complexity of these situations can be compounded if I need to ask if my judgment helps the greater good or helps the individual. Often following the rules will only complicate or cause harm in the situation. Sometimes to do the loving thing, we have to break the rules. Then there are cultural differences. Some cultures say doing one thing is right and another culture will say doing that very thing is wrong. These are conventional truths we all have to live with which are only true for particular times, places, people, and cultures. But when we do the right thing at the right time based on an intuitive, empathetic understanding of the situation, we are practicing love in conventional reality. And most people will recognize it for what it is.
The Deeper Question
How do you resolve the differences between the Perfect Love of Universal Truth with the love of Conventional Truth? That is the deeper question. It is a paradox: How to not judge in a situation that requires making a judgment. In practicing Perfect Love, the task is to intuit moment by moment how the Universal Truth of Perfect Love can apply to this conventional truth I am dealing with now. Only the intuitive heart has the answer. It is the center point holding both Universal Truth and Conventional Truth. It is a spiritual dimension which processes the tensions between these two realities, the point that visualizes “on earth as it is in heaven” – and acts accordingly. The result is Perfect Love: An intelligent action informed by the empathetic awareness of Universal Truth and Conventional Truth acting in my life.
Love: A Universal Truth and a Conventional Truth
I think Perfect Love is one of those spiritual paradoxes which can only be understand and practiced through an open, intuitive heart that doesn’t see reality as “either/or” but as “both/and.” (See my blog “Intuition Helps Us Plumb the Depths of Spiritual Paradox,” May 30, 2014.) There are two levels of reality we are dealing with. On one hand we have “Love is the Absence of Judgment” which conveys a universal truth. It implies that at the root of all reality there is a perfect love that draws all things to itself. This is a universal truth which is true for eternity and in all situations. It underlies the teachings of all major religions. To intuitively realize this truth at an experiential level is a major accomplishment of a human life.
On the other hand, we must live in the everyday world of conventional reality where we are called upon to make judgments all the time such as when we are evaluating our own behavior or that of our kids. There are times when we must make difficult judgments indicative of tough love that often don’t look very loving on the surface such as when to divorce an abusive spouse or send a childish adult packing. How and when do we love in these situations? The complexity of these situations can be compounded if I need to ask if my judgment helps the greater good or helps the individual. Often following the rules will only complicate or cause harm in the situation. Sometimes to do the loving thing, we have to break the rules. Then there are cultural differences. Some cultures say doing one thing is right and another culture will say doing that very thing is wrong. These are conventional truths we all have to live with which are only true for particular times, places, people, and cultures. But when we do the right thing at the right time based on an intuitive, empathetic understanding of the situation, we are practicing love in conventional reality. And most people will recognize it for what it is.
The Deeper Question
How do you resolve the differences between the Perfect Love of Universal Truth with the love of Conventional Truth? That is the deeper question. It is a paradox: How to not judge in a situation that requires making a judgment. In practicing Perfect Love, the task is to intuit moment by moment how the Universal Truth of Perfect Love can apply to this conventional truth I am dealing with now. Only the intuitive heart has the answer. It is the center point holding both Universal Truth and Conventional Truth. It is a spiritual dimension which processes the tensions between these two realities, the point that visualizes “on earth as it is in heaven” – and acts accordingly. The result is Perfect Love: An intelligent action informed by the empathetic awareness of Universal Truth and Conventional Truth acting in my life.
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