Blog Archives

Walking with death through life....Dr. Wayne Dyer

8/31/2015

by Gwendolyn M Plano

I was saddened to read of the passing of Dr. Wayne Dyer, a teacher for so many of us. Like my dear aunt who passed a month ago, he had leukemia.

Their walk with death through life elicited the best in us, restoring our hope and opening our eyes and hearts to the miracles around us.

In thanksgiving I share the following sermon by Canon Henry Scott-Holland, delivered in St. Paul's Cathedral in 1910. His timeless words seem very appropriate today, for indeed, all is well.

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Crazy! Hot! a journey to health...

8/28/2015

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by Gwendolyn M Plano

It is my pleasure to welcome author Shirley Harris-Slaughter to this blog. I met Shirley through the Rave Reviews Book Club, an online resource for writers. She has written two books, both of which I have enjoyed. The first, Our Lady of Victory, the Saga of an African American Catholic Community, is an historical account of a Detroit church in the mid-1940s. Her second book, Crazy! Hot! And Living On The Edge, addresses her health crisis and the steps she took to wellness. Because of her journey, she has become an advocate for natural health and healing, and in her guest blog she shares glimpses of her hard-earned wisdom. Thank you for joining us, Shirley.
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   There are no words that can really explain ‘crazy’ as in an emotional roller coaster one experiences when your whole body is out of whack. Most of the time this is brought on by a hormonal imbalance that I believe every woman in this country is afflicted with. How else do you explain the dreaded cramps that virtually every female will experience in her lifetime?

I can remember one time during my monthly visit from our dear Mother Nature, that I experienced the crazies as well as those awful cramps. I started crying for no reason at all. Out of the clear blue, I started bawling like a baby and thought I was losing my mind. But, it was those darn hormones. This would not be the last time this would happen to me.

As the years went by, I experienced quite early another phenomenon, hot flashes! Yes, I was ‘hot’ and couldn’t explain it because it came in waves depending on what mood I was in. I was hot and uncomfortable all the time. Then when I reached 50+ I went into full blown menopause and a health crisis ensued.

In between all of this, my life became a balancing act of emotions, panic attacks, and stress. Not knowing when the attacks were going to strike kept me on edge. I was frightened out of my mind because there were no real answers out there. I eventually reached a medical crisis!

Crazy! Hot! And Living On The Edge provides the steps by which author Shirley Harris-Slaughter surmounted her medical crisis. As part of her recovery, she tackled the difficult questions posed by her editor, and this process opened the door to understanding and deeper healing. Some of those questions are listed below:

Was it a decent marriage before the troubles? Not at all. It wasn’t a normal marriage. He was self-destructing. We never got the chance to have a real married life. He deprived me of that experience. So I never got to plan a future with him. He passed away about a year ago. My son didn’t attend his funeral and neither did I. That’s the legacy he left.

What went wrong? He had no goals, no ambition; and he was abusing drugs and alcohol. I decided I wanted no part of it or him and left. My son was the motivating factor. He was a year old and doesn’t remember the bad stuff.

Was the divorce acrimonious? The divorce was not amicable. He didn’t want it and why should he? He had a good Catholic girl with good upbringing. He knew what he was losing. He did threaten me. We had a physical fight in the marriage. The only thing he had going for him was his good looks. He was absolutely gorgeous!

How did he kidnap you? During our separation he carried on a campaign of phone harassments and threats. He surprised me with a visit in the parking lot on my job. I was getting into the car to go home and he jumped into the driver’s side and pushed me over to the passenger side and took off. I was stunned by his sudden appearance.

Where did he hold you hostage and how did you escape? He took me to a hotel and tied my hands to a bed. I was afraid and started talking my way out of it. He threatened to kill me or take me to Flat Rock (He was employed at Ford’s in Flat Rock); but he wasn’t thinking rationally, and so I did whatever I could to diffuse the situation. I finally talked him into letting me go. This was not the first time he accosted me but it was the last.

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Thank you, Shirley, for sharing aspects of your journey. Our backstories often contribute to our sorrows in life. Thank you, too, for offering the following contact links to readers:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/sharrislaughter
Website: www.shirleyslaughter.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShirleyHarrisSlaughterAuthor

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Every moment is a blessing...

8/27/2015

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by Gwendolyn M Plano

My grandchildren are visiting and they’ve brought along delight. I’m learning that every moment is a celebration – of possibility, of adventure, of life!

It’s amazing how young our teachers can be — reminding us to enjoy the simple things of life. These little ones do not walk; they run—from one adventure to another. Their trails of Lego blocks, puzzles, and artwork stretch from room to room, and I find myself giggling at the chaos.

And when they stumble, they shout their pain, wanting hugs and Band-Aids and understanding. Then, when they’ve had fill or when distracted by another possibility, they leap to their new adventure.

I’m reminded of Alan Cohen’s quote, “There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”

By watching my grandchildren, I’m seeing how I often miss the magic or mystery or even excitement of life because of my everyday practices. It is an event for children to take out the trash, to feed the hummingbirds, or water the strawberries. Their exuberance elicits my awe.

Mother Teresa said, “Be happy in the moment; that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.” My grandchildren are teaching me the truth of her statement. Every moment is a blessing. Have you found yourself realizing the same through the little ones around you?

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An anniversary to remember...

8/6/2015

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by Gwendolyn M Plano

It happened in less than a second. As I leapt from the car, my foot got tangled in the strap of our travel bag. I tried to stop the fall with my outstretched hands, but I hit hard and broke the bones in my right arm. The asphalt, the pain, the crowd that encircled me, the rush to the hospital – all is a blur. Within a moment’s time, our travel plans and so much more changed.

Perhaps you have faced something similar; if not an accident then maybe an illness interrupted your plans, your life. And, perhaps like me, you wondered “Why?”

I’ve learned a lot over these past two months—about time, about relationships, about being conscious. And part of the answer to my “why” has to do with what I’ve discovered.

I’ve realized, for instance, that most of our interactions are spontaneous and non-reflective. We smile, we nod, and we reach out our hand to another – without thinking about it. We naturally try to connect with those around us and with life itself. It is part of who we are.

When this natural process of interaction is disrupted, though, our life changes dramatically. What was unconscious then becomes very conscious, because we have to think about how we are going to do something.

After the accident, there was little that I could do on my own because of my injuries – not the dishes, not the laundry, not anything to do with my beckoning unwritten book…nothing! And yet, I was so exhausted. My focus was reduced to simply managing pain and trying to use my less damaged arm. So why the fatigue?

Part of the reason for the fatigue was that my world had been turned upside down.

Most of us go about our day (eating, sleeping, bathing, etc.), absorbed in what we did yesterday or what we want to do today. We are not focused on the bar of soap in our hand or the fork with which we eat. We are not thinking about what we are doing in that moment.

An accident or illness can re-order our day such that NOW consumes us. Out of necessity, we concentrate on the immediate situation. Strange though it may seem, this redirection of attention can be a homecoming of sorts, similar to meditation.

I noticed more--the brilliance of the skies, the scent of flowers, the sounds of children playing in our neighborhood; and, I cared less--about social media and other obligations. Time rested in neutral for me during most of the summer.

On another front, when I hit the asphalt, flashes of past abuse frightened and confused me. Just as quickly, though, my husband was at my side trying to help. His tenderness moved me from the past to the present, from fear to trust. And, I saw in stark contrast the two worlds—the old and the new.

The greatest gift of this accident has been the deepening awareness of my husband’s abiding love. His patience and devotion throughout this challenging time have opened my heart in ways I could not have anticipated. Our fateful trip was to have been a celebration of our ninth anniversary. It was that—and so much more. And, it certainly is one we will always remember.

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Is truth tied to our worth?

8/1/2015

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What a summer this has been! Because of a misstep in early June, I’m now relearning to use fingers and wrist. This unexpected mid-year pause has helped me see life a little differently – the miracles, the dreams, and the folks I meet. And thankfully, I’m now starting to write again.

Earlier this week, I read a thought-provoking article on truth by author John Fioravanti. He reflected upon Miguel Angel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements and specifically focused on this quote:

"Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."

I resonated with Fioravanti’s reminder that we have the ability to do much good or much harm – simply through our choice of words. Particularly during these election times, words are used indiscriminately and often to create realities that may not exist.

As I read his reflection (and I encourage you to do the same), I was brought back to my early years.

When I was a child, my father would frequently say to my siblings and me that, “You are only as good as your word.” He made it clear that our worth is tied to our word. Through stories and example, he taught us that titles, positions, or income mean little compared to our integrity.

As a product of the Dust Bowl, Dad knew the extremes of life, but he measured his life and that of others by the ability to be faithful to the spoken word. If he said he would do something (i.e., plow the field, fix a machine, or whatever), he would. And, he expected the same of his family and those with whom he worked. If we fell short in some way, Dad disciplined us.

Over time, I’ve wondered if there were a downside to my upbringing, because when just a child, I naively concluded that everyone strove to be honest. For years upon years, I believed what people said—in the newspapers, on television, or from the pulpit. I blindly trusted. Didn't you?

I see differently now; life has taught me to be more discerning of motivations. And while I try to be impeccable with my word, I don’t assume it of others. Especially in the political arena, I doubt most of what is said.

How about you? Has life taught you that trust is earned not given? Do you have thoughts about how we can build an environment more supportive of truth?

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