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Finding joy in life...

10/21/2017

16 Comments

 
by Gwendolyn M Plano
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​​Recently I was asked about finding joy in life. As I thought about this, I realized that at the core of joy is forgiveness, and I will explain what I mean.

Tragedy is part of our lives; we cannot escape it. We may suffer from a debilitating illness or live in pain from a careless accident or face financial ruin through our fault or that of another. Perhaps we were betrayed by someone we trusted, someone we loved. Whatever the circumstance, we stand on common ground through our tears and broken hearts.

How do we traverse injustice, affronts, or violations? Fundamentally, I believe we do so through forgiveness. And, Bishop Desmond Tutu offers the best description I have found. He says: Forgiveness … exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the pain, the degradation, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse.  It is a risky undertaking, but in the end, it is worthwhile because in the end dealing with the real situation helps to bring real healing. In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget... Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously and not minimizing it; drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens to poison our entire existence.
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It is the last line that is so vital to our wellbeing. Until we do the challenging work of forgiveness, we relive the event, the pain, the affront over and over again through one circumstance after another. We see through the clouds of life and miss the magic because we are not free.
 
Emotions lead us to our unforgiveness. They are our road-map. Anger or rage, resentment, criticism, guilt, paranoia, fear are signs we may not have forgiven the injustice, or violation, or tragedy. We may not have done the hard work that Bishop Tutu says we must do.
 
As much as we stand on common ground in our tears, forgiveness is a journey uniquely designed for each of us to travel alone because it is about us and not about the offender. Only we can pull out the sting; no one can do that for us. When we have forgiven, we no longer react as we have in the past. We are at peace and therein rests our joy. 

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16 Comments
John Howell link
10/21/2017 07:05:44

I so agree, Gwen. Forgiveness is at the heart of healing. I don't believe one can rise above adversity without granting the grace of forgiveness on those responsible. That step needs to be the first. Lovely post.

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Gwen Plano
10/21/2017 08:17:00

Thank you very much, John. As you said, it is at the heart of healing...

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D.L. Finn
10/22/2017 01:56:10

This is a beautiful reminder on a subject so easy to forget. Thank you for this post.

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Gwen Plano
10/22/2017 10:03:58

Thank you, D.L. I agree, D.L, we easily forget and yet, it is what can free us. I wrote, reminding myself as well. :)

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Karen Ingalls link
10/22/2017 09:04:27

Gwen, forgiveness is one of the most important actions I believe we are to take, yet it is one of the most least understood. It is not to say that what was said or happened is okay, but to forgive opens up the path to love and wholeness. With your permission I would like to post this on my blog at www.outshineovariancancer.blogspot.com.

Reply
Gwen Plano
10/22/2017 10:05:11

Thank you, Karen. I'd be honored if you posted it on your blog. Blessings! ♥

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Jan Sikes link
10/22/2017 10:09:13

Thanks so much for sharing this, Gwen. Forgiveness is huge and the person I struggle the most to forgive is myself. :) I love how this post equates Forgiveness with Love.

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Gwen Plano
10/22/2017 17:17:03

Thank you so much, Jan. I think most of us struggle with forgiving ourselves and loving ourselves. They may be the same thing. :)

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John Fioravanti
10/22/2017 11:18:51

This is an important post, Gwen, but is not an easy one to read and to internalize. I wish I could reblog it. Peace!

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Gwen Plano
10/22/2017 17:18:37

Thank you, John. As far as I know, Weebly doesn't have the means to reblog unfortunately.

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Davy D link
10/23/2017 10:17:56

A deep and moving post Gwen. The anger we hang onto, when we hate instead of forgive, is a very destructive emotion. In my time in the Police in the UK I saw examples of forgiveness which were humbling, from people who had experienced tragedy in their lives, inflicted by the wrongdoings of others. There is much food for thought in your words.

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Gwen Plano
10/24/2017 18:52:02

Thank you, Davy. Your thoughtful responses always bring added clarity. All the best to you and yours...

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Julie Watson
10/27/2017 12:32:44

I so agree Gwen. Forgiveness is fundamental to a peaceful life. I read somewhere that 'unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.' It only damages us and no-one else.

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Gwen Plano
11/24/2017 16:58:48

Thank you, Julie. I so agree with you. In the end, unforgiveness only hurts us. Blessings to you!

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Laura Libricz link
11/24/2017 02:16:52

Wonderful post, Gwen. My challenge for the weekend...

Reply
Gwen Plano
11/24/2017 16:59:31

Thank you, Laura. I hope you have a blessed weekend.

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Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. ―Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning


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