The decision to open the door behind which we have hidden, frightens us more than the secrets we hold dear. We wonder, what will they say--the ones who will see our naked state? Will they accept our fragile hurting heart, with its threadbare strands of hope?
We watch as others take the leap, announcing their veiled life--with a kiss at the NFL draft, with a call to campus police after a rape, with a restraining order for domestic violence. And we wait.
As a college administrator, I listened to stories of late night sorrows, of pregnancies unexpected, of hidden sexual interests and identity. And though I offered support and provided resources, most often it was silence that was wanted. The door, I discovered, sheltered fear, while supporting societal and institutional expectations. Many would rather accept a closeted life, than face their parents, their neighbors, their church, their teammates--the shame was too great.
On this sad day of Maya Angelou's passing, I think of her warning, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." For the agony, I contend, is lost joy.......
We watch as others take the leap, announcing their veiled life--with a kiss at the NFL draft, with a call to campus police after a rape, with a restraining order for domestic violence. And we wait.
As a college administrator, I listened to stories of late night sorrows, of pregnancies unexpected, of hidden sexual interests and identity. And though I offered support and provided resources, most often it was silence that was wanted. The door, I discovered, sheltered fear, while supporting societal and institutional expectations. Many would rather accept a closeted life, than face their parents, their neighbors, their church, their teammates--the shame was too great.
On this sad day of Maya Angelou's passing, I think of her warning, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." For the agony, I contend, is lost joy.......
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