Thank you so much, Gwen, for hosting this last day…a happy ending indeed for my book’s first blog tour. Your generosity and each of your kindnesses are a special first for me.
I am a woman of great faith…in a Universe that we, as humans, co-create our lives with. Beautiful balance…divine purpose and human free choice. When I shared very privately a prayer to my God with Ray to “give it all back” if it meant I could give it all to him…everything, and it was answered by a God that, for me, is only ever a loving force, by helping to guide that prayer into action, it was a gift of a lifetime. I really did give everything, not just tangible and obvious, like precious time and physical stuff, but everything that rippled out from the very intangible as well, including my trust. After the long journey to learn just how to do that, place my trust in another, any movement at all came to mean to me that I no longer trusted him. In that devotion to trust, I truly did, “give it all back”…and after giving it all to Ray, it really, truly, returned me to a place, internally, that I spent many years trying to get out of. And that internal state of strife and angst quickly manifested on my outsides again as well.
I thank God and that loving Universe, always at my back, for answering another prayer I eventually placed before them…to help me start moving again…in the stillness and peace I had started to finally move in as an adult, with my dad’s help, quite different than the standstill that started rotting me and my life in my lack of movement.
A short excerpt from my book:
As children, we don’t have a lot of choice. Our decisions are usually made for us. As an adult, the choices and decisions become all ours. Our choice, to accept or not accept, become the question. We each take our own journey, we each get our own choice. We can’t make choices for each other. We have to choose for ourselves. Otherwise, we’re still man-children and women-children, as we let others make our decisions for us, as we allow others to tell us what to do, as we forsake our true selves and give our power away to others. As we accept that for ourselves. It’s the only life we can control, our own. The only life we can save is our own, at least that’s what Mary Oliver’s insightful and inspiring poem, “The Journey”, shares as her truth. A lot of wisdom is held within its incredible moving words, that I connected to and claimed as truth along my way. I couldn’t save my parents, nor could I save Larry, nor… Emilio.